nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
