She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
