Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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