i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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