hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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