Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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