Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
