so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
