it hurts more in the daytime
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
