I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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