Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have aggressive nipples.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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