I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
