Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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