Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
