Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
