she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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