not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
