Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Let's paint friendship bongs
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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