That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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