All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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