your thong is hanging out like whoa
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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