were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
