shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
