guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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