Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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