uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i will never coherently bang her
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Damn victory sex feels great
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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