But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
