I've blown a few things in my day
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
