Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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