i just google imaged poop.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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