I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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