We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
