Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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