the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
