I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sober January is a disaster.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
