like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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