I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
