Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
