you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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