He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
