whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
