i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
