I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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