How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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