It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just google imaged poop.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
