Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
