I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
