Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
