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stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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