Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize
