i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
