He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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