I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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