i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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