OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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