I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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