I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
