So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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