I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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