I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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