All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Boobs are out for the taking
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
