found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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