Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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