she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
